Tag Archives: self-esteem

Self-Expansion Through Self-Expression (inspiration)

“Meaning and morality of One’s life come from within oneself. Healthy, strong individuals seek self-expansion by experimenting and by living dangerously. Life consists of an infinite number of possibilities and the healthy person explores as many of them as possible. Religions that teach pity, self-contempt, humility, self-restraint and guilt are incorrect. The good life is ever changing, challenging, devoid of regret, intense, creative and risky.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

“What gives life its value if not its constant cry for self-transcendence.?” ~ Sri Chinmoy

“Happiness is an expression of the soul in considered actions.” ~ Aristotle

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Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Self-Expansion Through Self-Expression (BW)

Self-expression comes easier if you feel you’re creative, grounded or just have a lot to, uh, say. Truth is the next step in that chain. Self-expansion is a proactive process and the culmination of body-mind-spirit integration. Growing in all areas of one’s life in an incorporated way (b-m-s harmony) is the very definition of spirituality to me. If we are spiritual beings having a human experience — self-expansion is a Must Have skill! The practice of self-expansion can happen in the smallest moments of life — we’ve all had them — but they need to be noticed for them to have maximum effect of expansion. Watch it! A piece of music or a blossoming flower can trigger the connected feeling of self-expansion if you’re not careful. Recently, a trip to the cool new Planetarium had the power of self-expansion for me when those stars and creation process itself unexpectedly threw me into a childlike wonderment, a mind-wow!, and actual tears of longing which I can only describe as the spiritual itch of seeking connection. Walking out stunned and buzzing with life around my edges, that very satisfying experience had me feeling bigger, more than when I walked in that room.

Self-expression is what we’re built for. It’s when we don’t express ourselves (creatively, the meditation of drudge work, emotionally, intellectually…any multitude of ways we all do it) that our bodies which are emotional instruments, speak out with dis-ease or pains in the fill-in-the-blank. When you next express yourself, notice whether/how you feel expanded by the experience. If not, keep vigilant look-out until something stirs you and you do. And then, seek again…  — BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Time Management Gets Away from Procrastinator

You have a great idea, all the materials at hand, or even chores to do  and…you’ll do it!…tomorrow. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow! — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW —I have a really bad habit. I am a procrastinator. I always was since I was in high school. Some how I always get things got done, but now that I’m 33, it’s not so funny. How do I get my life on track and motivation that will stick? I wanted to write you guys last winter ha ha!! Not Pictured

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Dear Not Pictured,

Ok that was funny and you made me laugh…in retrospect. Seriously, procrastination is just delayed decisions (usually if not ironically of over-perfectionism), so make up your mind to get your life moving, already, and it will be. What do you most fear from moving forward, Not Pictured? Making a mistake, a wrong decision? Failing? Disappointing someone(s)? Low self-esteem? It is entirely possible to fail by not making any move whatsoever. I think you’re seeing and feeling for yourself that what was once a “cute” habit, possibly charmingly absentmindedness when you were younger, is catching up with you in lost time, opportunities and personal development advancements — and have you noticed the older you get, others are less willing to make excuses for you? Even above laziness, it is your fear (and you’ll have to do the work of figuring out exactly what keeps you most frozen) that is keeping you in this holding pattern. Stand up, put one foot in front of the other, and when you first teeter, don’t worry about what other people think, remember which direction you were heading, and then firmly plant down…your other foot. You can do it (now)!

No time like the present,

BadWitch

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Dear Not Pictured,

Procrastination. Fun to say. Fun in the moment. Sucks at deadline.

Let’s just call a spade, a spade. Why are you sabotaging yourself? You want things, have plans, make commitments and then drop the ball way before the end zone in the hopes you can pick it up from your prolonged fumble and score in the last minute. Are you kidding me? Does that sound like someone working to achieve their dreams?

Get a calendar, manage your time and get some discipline. Decide to give yourself plenty of time between working on the project and when it is due whenever you can. That way when life throws you a curve ball (and it will) you have the time and space to handle it. Of course, there will be times where there is just too much to get done and all due at once. But, most of the time, we create scenarios like this for ourselves because somewhere deep down either you don’t believe you deserve [Your Dream Here] or you don’t think you can have it. Know that you can have and do deserve all the good in life. You just have to work for it—in a timely fashion.

The world will not wait for you to catch up and opportunity may only knock once. Want to be ready, get your time management skills in order. Calendar your To Do list. Set an alarm if you need to move from one project to the next. But get the work done. You will be nicer to yourself and the work because you won’t feel so rushed and under pressure.

True story. After years of not having nightmares, I had a bad one. I was being chased by a killer. I had heard of lucid dreaming and facing your nightmares, and actually had the wherewithal to turn around face my would-be killer and scream, “Why are you doing this to me. I don’t deserve this!” The nightmare killer said, “You’re the one with all that overdue work on your desk.” Yes, the guilt of my procrastination had followed me into my sleep to poke and prod me.

So, I say this with love and understanding, “Stop screwing around and get to work!” Listen, you know what you’ve got to do, apply yourself and do it. Make yourself a priority, because no one else can do that for you.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Image: Flying Clock @ susanreep.com

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

Spine Stiffener: Assertiveness Training

Does being quiet automatically mean you’re wimpy or weak? Definitely not! But when you habitually silence your own inner voice, it’s time to reassess.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I’m somewhere between going with everyone else’s flow too much, and not stating my mind often enough…I don’t consider or feel like I’m a doormat… How do I feel heard more often without being a bitch? Quiet Not Shy

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Dear Quiet Not Shy,

First off, you’re not crazy nor alone in the world. Here’s what we similarly told Speaking Up for Myself a while back:. There’s no “bitch” in speaking your mind fittingly, but there usually are plenty in those who don’t appropriately do so then choose to gossip instead.

Cupcake, age/stage does make a difference here. Anyone who knew me after junior high, would now likely be shocked to hear I was a very quiet kid. Like you, I wasn’t shy. I was just observing and sort of “getting the lay of the land.” There’s much to be said for understanding and respecting one’s own energy level(s) and allowing for your own flow. One size does NOT fit all. Our culture approves of extroverts but it is not the only way to go. Secondly, how do people treat you? If it’s with respect, then I say you probably only need to practice joining the conversation more until people (and then you yourself) start “asking your opinion.” Babble. Review. Repeat. Appropriately expressing your inner voice is a muscle to be trained. No worries here. BUT if you feel that you are not being respected more often than not, and by many types of people across the board in many life situations, then you must definitely work on being heard more often for your soul and psyche’s sakes.

The dissed and unhealthily silent would probably do well to get to know themselves better to start with (i.e., journaling and/or therapy are options). Then identifying what (emotional) people and situation triggers are possibly keeping one submissive and passive are a first key to disempowering them from within. Trite but true: practice (speaking up) makes perfect.

Thinking aloud allowed,

BadWitch

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Dear Quiet Not Shy,

You said a mouthful! There is a balanced position that allows for the natural flow of events (and personalities) while allowing you to steer your own ship. What do I mean? I mean that there is a way of being—standing tall— that does not negate your easy-going spirit. Or turn you into a bitch or a doormat.

Note: Half of being heard is expecting to be listened to—with respect. Take an attitude with altitude.

Now, that being said, don’t let ego take over. One does not expect to be listened to because one is pretty, a princess, sweet, lovable or any other number of manipulative, emotion contorting words that allows a smile to get you through. Expect to be listened to because you know you have something worthy to share. Expect others to want to hear your wisdom, ideas, thoughts. Know within yourself that you are worthy.

Then, clear your throat. Be assertive. The first few times you willingly share your POV you will not necessarily feel confident. Shaky, step forward and offer the words anyway. Of course, since the pendulum never swings to the middle that shaky tone could come out harsh or loud or, well, bitchy. And so it is. You just have to allow for swinging too far right and left before you find the balance. But balanced, comfortable communication in which you feel heard and respected, is not only possible, but necessary.

As you manage forward, feeling your way to say what must be said, do not judge yourself for your range of emotions and do not judge others for reacting defensively. You are manning up and some folks won’t be comfortable with you changing your position as “Easy Going Girl.” Do it anyway. If you are consistent in your new personal power and respect other’s boundaries — but not more than your own — others will come around, respecting you for lengthening your spine and out-growing the wimpier disposition.

For those who don’t get it, well, thank them for showing their true colors early. You do not need people in your life who only want to play with others they perceive as weaker. They’re called bullies and by definition, they don’t play well with others. Leave them to play with themselves.

Holla!

GoodWitch

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Image: Street Artist Meek

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.