Planning on love? Type-A discovers life unfurls itself inconveniently, against plan. “Repeat” for All Events. — BadWitch
Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…
Dear GWBW — I don’t know if this is a “work” or “personal” question, but I’m a true blue Type-A person and have planned my entire life out. So far everything has pretty much unfolded as I intended. Then I met this person at the office who is turning out (after working, platonic meetings, friendship and now love) to be the Love of My Life. My question is how do I deal with these crazy feelings (neither of us wants to go away), and still be professional at work? We work on the same team. — Bi-curious
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Dear Bi-curious,
Oh to be crazy, wacky and young! Just sayin’, it’s another gray area option. Type-A’s and those who like to label themselves as such, love to pretend we have everything under control. Bi-curious, life has a sense of humor and sometimes…you’re the punch line. Let go, let god. Let go, let it flow. Circle one. Mix ‘n match. Woohoo!!, go crazy, yo!
Minimize the damage and leverage the benefit of being a Type-A more often by letting your plans help direct and guide you, while reveling in the fact that your particular genius in this area also helps you make room for you to be less rigid, and things to turn out just as they are meant to be. With or without your Master of the Universe architectural blue prints. Sweetie. I Get you possibly more than you do, so don’t shut down from me now. See your Big Picture, raise it a mission for your vision, do the mundane work every day, and then…just breathe and allow for the beautiful lessons of the universal wisdom to allow things in and out of your life. You already know How to Be Professional, now, get over your self to more fully enjoy yourself.
Sync that calendar item,
BadWitch
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Dear Bi-curious,
Two can play on the same team while finding love and cooperation. Yes, it will take both of you deciding to be the bigger person on more than one occasion. You will have to come in off the night of pissy arguments and behave like grown ups in the office. No drama. No catfights. Claws fully retracted and work put first. Can you do that? Can you both do that?
There are some VERY good reasons to adhere to the old aphorism, “Don’t screw the crew.” Yes, rough, uncouth and just not classy, but filled with sage advice. When one enters into relationship you open yourself to be truthful, open and take your partner’s feelings into account. In a work setting, there will be times when your business judgment may be impaired by partner protectitus. Yes, your partner has a bad idea or you have a good idea which gives a plum position/project/you name it to someone who is not your partner, but is the correct business choice. What do you do? If you really want this relationship and work thing work, you’ll have to make the better business choice and take the hit when you get home.
In other words, yes you can make it work, but you’ll have to make some hard and fast boundaries to make it work without disrupting your career agenda. Despite my diatribe, I do believe partners can work well together. I’ve actually seen it first hand. However, I’ve also experienced co-dependant, bad relationships that make the whole office live through re-enactments of All in the Dysfunctional Family.
Realize that everyone you work with—up and down the ladder—have to deal with your relationship. Be nice to your fellow co-workers. Leave the relationship on the side till you get home at the end of the day. Sure, a little lunchtime loving is a great idea, just make sure you are back in business mode by the time you get to your desk. Discuss and agree on appropriate behaviors and boundaries.
Btw, congratulations on finding someone you can love and work with. Remember, good communications makes the difference.
Happy smooching,
GoodWitch
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