Good Witch / Bad Witch » de-stress

“You Already Know You’re Good Enough & Doggone It…”

goodwitchbadwitch — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 23:13:32 +0000

…that’s “People Like You” in case your bedtime conflicted with the SNL show, or you didn’t have a TV in the early ’90s to be inspired by iconic Stuart Smiley.

Missing from this headline is “Smart Enough”—and most leaders definitely know or at least think they are that. GWBW wants to inspire more to lead by becoming brighter than smarter—that’s by leading with authentic power. And the fact is whether you’re a corporate leader by title, default, wannabe—or leader of your home—true Leaders are expansion- and growth-oriented people.

Authentic power? Let’s courageously push forward with our quest for authentic empowerment in the home, school and workplace to be the brighter leaders we are all meant to get back to. The ease and grace of leading effortlessly with joy and true vision, is born in us all. This blog will explore ways to return to that natural state of effortlessness—the way to living and leading with true meaning.

Because, doggone it!, this modern world needs us all to reconnect and align with our truest selves.

Law of Attraction Guidance for Leaders & Calm Ass Goddesses.

Blowing a gasket stuck revving at Neutral? Stop struggling, it doesn’t have to be so hard! Learn how to align your enerCHI and get what you really want. Transform—modern life. Email me at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

Filed under: de-stress, family, Guidance, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, money, relationships, self-improvement, wellness Tagged: brighter than smart, Calm Ass Goddess, ease and grace, effortless success, joy, Law of Attraction, leadership, Stuart Smiley, women

Royal Witches: One Did It One’s Way

goodwitchbadwitch — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 20:30:49 +0000

I say, jolly good party at ole Buckingham Palace last night (thanks for the invies, Wills & Kate)! …Alas, I’m afraid that party blur left me looking for the keys to the pumpkin this afternoon, as your lovely witches were sporting royal tea bags on their eyes earlier on this fine commoner Friday.

Actually, we’re working dang hard to integrate all our recent fabu personal and professional changes, including actively putting together a custom de-stress program for medically-based clients. Be back soon to fire up our blog machine in earnest…and a lot more. Now, pardon me while I move the pumpkin, it’s street cleaning today. Thanks for your support and, ta ta for now! — Simone

“I pretend I’m one of the royal family when I’m in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me – it is a palace.” ~ Martin Short
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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders.

What’s jamming your juice in life? What emotion is hardest for you? Tell us what’s important to you, what you think about. How we can help you thrive—not just survive—modern life. Email us at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, happiness, life, Life coaching, self-improvement, wellness Tagged: blog, coaching, de-stress program, Martin Short, pumpkin coach, royal wedding

Love: The One Who Got…Awry

goodwitchbadwitch — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 16:06:58 +0000

What is love? So sweet the feelings between two and…their family baggage? Making “love” on your own terms only. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I want an unconditional love relationship with my boyfriend. I’m convinced he’s “the one.” We both come from divorced but loving families. You know how they say we become our parents, and end up repeating what we grew up seeing? How do we not repeat our parents’ mistakes in our relationships? — One & Only

Dear One & Only,

Annnd…what does he want? Have you two even discussed your longer view(s), and if so, do you feel mutually about your relationship? Spend some time chatting out your individual back stories. Is one of you successful at not repeating family dysfunction and/or history? Help the other. Share and come up with ideas as to how you two can do it “better” than you may have seen it growing up.

If you and your boyfriend feel mutually that you each are The One, then the only way to break the habits of your families’ worst patterns is to recognize them fully. Be aware vigilantly. Practice diligently. And keep talking (as the relationship evolves, so will the old issues’ impact and your expression of them) about these things (on both sides) frequently together. If your man is the rare one who enjoys doing these things, then he really may be The One…for a lot of us!

Relate consciously, be mindful,

BadWitch

Dear One & Only,

Be aware! Remember that being in an devoted, unconditional relationship means seeing the person as he or she is—not just as a boyfriend or husband.

It is easy when we are in long-term relationships as the holder of social mores. Suddenly he is suppose to act like the typical (read: cookie-cutter romantic comedy suitor), perfect mate. Flowers, candy, never a cross word and great declarations of love are necessary for the relationship to seem steady. Bullshit.

Don’t put the masks of “husband”, “wife”, “boyfriend”, “girlfriend” over the clear view of who you are in relationship with. See the truth. Unconditional means without judgment so you and your partner can be accepted as you are—not as someone else would have you be. Set your boundaries. Talk through disagreements and realize that both of you will have to contribute to the good and the bad times.

If this person is truly your one and only, realize hat there will be no violins or rainbows because you are together. It will be two people ready and aware of persona faults, past history and how to be fully respectful to each other.

You can break the chains of family history, but only through awareness, practice and personal responsibility.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

Image: of the Hatfield & McCoy’s children’s reunion

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, family, happiness, life, Life coaching, love, relationships Tagged: baggage, breaking unhealthy patterns, family, family dysfunction, family history, Hatfields & McCoys

The Real Clash: Stay or Should I Go?

goodwitchbadwitch — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 16:00:46 +0000

Burn outs are kinda cool in a hot rod. Not so much on the job. How to stay cooler. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — …career of 12 years…What constitutes “burn out”? How do you know if you are actually burned out and it would be wise to find a new course to pursue, or whether you just need a long vacation, and should stay put in the industry you spent so much time developing skills, contacts and your reputation in? — Path Trekker

Dear Path Trekker,

Check out what we told Miller Time about his job exhaustion.

As for what constitutes “job burn out,” as usual, I suggest you do review columns. This time, list all the things that first ignited, attracted and fueled you to and on your job. Second column, quickly jot all the things that frustrate you on the job and about your workplace. I’d rather you list emotions/feelings elicited than nit picky line items like “broken water cooler,” which may or may not translate as “dehydrated, listless and angry.” Half joking. Cross-check the two columns. This one is more a highly subjective look-see between the two columns to see which is: larger/longer, which items may be completely negated by something in the other column, and overall how each column makes you feel. Do this exercise again same time for the next four weeks. See if recognizing and shifting what you can has changed anything for you. Own what’s yours, weigh what you can’t control against your overall life needs and peace.

Meanwhile, a well-deserved, fun-filled (whatever that means to you) vacation away from the office is always a rejuvenating, reenergizing treat our culture doesn’t take as seriously as it should. Go expedia.com, orbitz.com, or Travelocity.com (among others) — do a staycation — but go forward, Path Trekker!

Stop and smell the rose essential oil,

BadWitch

Dear Path Trekker,

Follow the tickle. The question is what inspires you and leads you t wan to spend your time in the activity.

The truth is whatever you choose to do will, no doubt, use some of the very skills and contacts you have honed over all these years. Though, you may decide the field you are in no longer serves, skills are transferable.

To start, yes, schedule a vacation. Give yourself time from the pressures of everyday to get a read on whether you enjoy the duties and opportunities available to you in your everyday career. Then it’s time you play Blue Sky/

What would you do if there were no limits? If money, security, social pressure and guilt were taken out of the work/life/career equation, what would you do with your time for work, fun, joy?

The questions to such answers may be unrealistic when normal life circumstances are applied, but it will start to point you in the right direction. You will see more clearly where your interest lie.

The key is to rest up and give yourself the time and space to figure out how you feel and what you want.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, career, de-stress, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, wellness Tagged: balance, career, emotions, happiness, health, life, purpose, responsibility, success, truth

Trust (BW)

goodwitchbadwitch — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 15:23:16 +0000

Last week seemed extra long and was definitely hard for me. A beloved parent received shockingly sudden serious news from the doctor. I’m pretty far down the road of senior parent care, so in the midst of all the business and chaos (but even to my own surprise), this time I found that I had earned the luxury of being philosophical. And I thought a lot about “Trust” (my thoughts about its partner “Surrender”).

My general formula for Trust is that we all start out with 100% open trust in our psycho-emotional bank, then are debited the percentage of whatever happened to us in life by, say, age 5. If that sum is 50% or higher, we have a corresponding tendency to trust people and situations in life. If it’s 49% or below, we will commensurately see the world as a booby-trapped place fraught with ways to be hurt or worse, disappointed. Leave room for gradations of gray on both sides. Then from a strictly legal definition, a “Trust” means: A relationship created at the direction of an individual, in which one or more persons hold the individual’s property subject to certain duties to use and protect it for the benefit of others. And there you have it. It obviously behooves us to have the most Trust possible. To have Trust in life, is for one’s own benefit, and the benefit of those in her/his life.

This city girl grew up with the benefit of a high Trust quotient. I strive to share that wealth with anyone around me who will listen. I believe the killer of Trust is not hurt, but the kind of disappointment that turns into cynicism. I’m choosing to trust that, after the things that we can and are doing something about, the rest is exactly as it was always meant to be. I trust my Mother Knows Best for herself and that this path is strewn with petals of lessons up and down, which can be trampled angrily on or admired for their fragrance and color. I trust that (especially in being so alike) she will always be my greatest teacher no matter where either of us is on our journeys.

What’s your trust quotient? Even if it’s high, how do you raise it daily? I trust, if you’re a reader of this blog, you likely do. — BadWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, family, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, relationships, self-improvement, spirituality Tagged: cynicism, disappointment, hurt, psycho-emotional, surrender, trust, trust quotient

Formerly Pregnant Faces Fertility Challenge

goodwitchbadwitch — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 16:39:15 +0000

There’s a theory that borders on fact, that replicating success is easier once you’ve achieved a thing. What to do when you can’t conceive child number two? — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I got pregnant very quickly with my first child. We are now hoping to have a second child, but I haven’t gotten pregnant after six months of trying. Why am I experiencing fertility challenges this time around? — Former Fertile Myrtle

Dear Former Fertile Myrtle,

That 20% of American couples share your experience, likely gave rise to naming the phenomenon: secondary infertility. While some issues are the same as with primary infertility, secondary has its own including that health care providers don’t tend to pay as much attention (or insurance money) to it, relatives and friends can be less aware of it and may appear lesser concerned, and your own emotions may be projected at those for whom it appears expanding their family is easy and breezy.

Reasons for secondary infertility can echo those of primary, and include the lessening fertility of men (sperm motility to ED) and women (fertility or miscarriage) as they age. So, to see a professional or not? I say if the financial resources and time (all IVF is extremely time consuming and protracted. Your job and other life time-off considerations should be carefully measured beforehand) are available and are in balance with desire to grow your family, then yes. Go find out if your situation is, in fact, secondary infertility or a temporary blip of some other (unconsidered) kind. All I know for sure is that when I want something hyper strongly, I’m not known for my saintly patience and this stress undoubtedly affects my physiology.

Above all, love the family you have,

BadWitch

Dear Former Fertile Myrtle,

Secondary infertility can happen for a variety of reasons. Quite often falling into the medical category of unexplained infertility.

Some basic biological issues (like age) or post-baby lifestyle changes (like taking up marathon running or pot smoking) can interfere with pregnancy. Of course, one of the most likely culprits is stress. Stress puts the body on high alert—fight or flight mode. In this state the body severely reduces “on line” status of any body functions not necessary for speedy fight or flight. This means digestion and reproduction are “off line” when we are stressed. Blood flow is restricted. Nutrient supply diminished.

Try some stress relief tactics that can help you focus your energies toward self-care and your goals of pregnancy, like fertility yoga, acupuncture for fertility and fertility stress management and support groups. Now is the time to learn to meditate. Now is the time to add more greens and folates to your diet. Now is the time to assess how you are expending your precious energies and where those energies need to be realigned to support your healthy, glowing body function and your goal of a second child.

Also, discuss the issue with your GYN or a fertility specialist.

And remember, sometimes the challenges placed in our paths to achieve our goal is exactly the training we need to be successful after achieving our goal. Trust. Believe and be good to you.

Blessings,

GoodWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, family, health, life, Life coaching Tagged: fertility, IVF, pregnant

Surrender: How to Do It (BW)

goodwitchbadwitch — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 16:22:35 +0000

Typically, “surrender” is one of those elevated life art forms that most (“normal”) people don’t even attempt to approach because they “already know” they don’t know how to. Surrender just feels like a far-off hazy concept and maybe even worse, of the guru on the mountaintop variety — scary or difficult for mere mortals to attain. Still, whether adorably or superstitiously, many of us put it on some future To Do list…just in case. But in our war culture, it’s the ideas about what surrendering mean that trip us up: 1) letting go of control is weak (self-delusional) or a failure (misnomer), 2) fear of the unknown (all of it is that; more delusion), and/or 3) being fatalistic or lacking faith (more ironic when paired with #1 as it often is).

Surrender is very different than giving up.

To give up, we give away our power, and just *sigh! * stop working, being present – check out. To surrender is about being even more present and alive, engaged with detachment, filled with hope and faith that what is and/or will be, is for our best interest, despite what the façade may appear like or to be. I’ve been called an Alpha more than once, and so certainly don’t have a pacifist personality, but more and more try to cultivate a conscientious objective character. My sweet spot: to be as speedy as ever and peacefully accepting and in flow about what I cannot control in life. God laughs when we make plans! —BadWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: career, de-stress, happiness, life, Life coaching, self-improvement, spirituality Tagged: acceptance, giving up, guru on mountaintop, surrender

Surrender: How to Do It (GW)

goodwitchbadwitch — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 17:25:43 +0000

Surrender is one of the hardest lessons to truly embrace and practice in one’s life. When one truly surrenders, one lets go of the attachment to the outcome in a situation. Remember a time when you struggled to remember some piece of trivia, like the name of a song, actor or movie, and it just eluded you. The harder you tried, the more blank your mind became. Then you let go. You decide it does not matter to remember, so you give up your attachment (and struggling to achieve it). Then a little while later the answer pops into your head like a gift.

That is surrender in process:

1. Set your goal or desire.

2. Work towards attaining your desire to the best of your abilities.

3. Be grateful for the opportunity to move towards your goal.

4. Release your attachment to the outcome. Work for the fun of working. Find the joy and the humor in the struggle and let go, trusting things to work out for the best. They usually will. — GoodWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, happiness, life, Life coaching, self-improvement Tagged: attachment, attachment to outcome, struggle, surrender

Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (inspiration)

goodwitchbadwitch — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 16:48:35 +0000

“He who angers you conquers you.” ~Elizabeth Kenny

“Anger is one letter short of danger.”~Anon

“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.”~ William H Walton

“People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves.”~Aesop

“Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.”~Robert Brault

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, relationships, self-improvement, spirituality, wellness Tagged: anger, balance, forgiveness, grudges, happiness, health, heart center, life, love, skills

Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (BW)

goodwitchbadwitch — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 17:13:24 +0000

Of all things not to hold close to one’s heart most especially, a grudge would be in the top two. Sustained anger is the emotion that turns into resentment and bitterness. Negative emotions produce chaotic heart rhythms, which negatively impact the rest of the body’s systems. Studies show that for every five (5) minutes of anger you feel, your body’s immune system drops in effectiveness for 12 hours. Conversely, five minutes of happiness and love you feel does the same in the positive for your body and its systems.

Allowing yourself persistent feelings of resentment and grudges holds you in the past, eats away at you, and lessens your availability to better options and events in the present. Grudges make you less whole, and lesser than. Don’t bring your grudge’s bitterness and anger from the past that’s gone forever, into all your relationships today and tomorrow. Forgiveness is first a choice, and then a process of commitment. You must want to change and grow. When you do, then you can. Next, work on you(r) will. — BadWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, relationships, self-improvement, spirituality, wellness Tagged: anger, bitterness, chaotic heart rhythm, forgiveness, grow, grudges, heart center, immune system, resentment, the past