You’ve been served! Bad food, that is. Which whine should you have with that? Standing up for yourself at a sit down meal.
— BadWitch
Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…
Dear GWBW — Do you believe in sending back bad food? Isn’t this just asking for a whole different can of worms of problems (like spit)? — Spit for Spite
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Dear Spit for Spite,
Well, that all depends on the restaurant…and your attitude. Life is all about flowing in harmony. Sometimes, you realize that harmony requires your meat to be cooked further or the plentiful pits plucked from your tapenade. Although, at other times it is clear that harmony can be maintained by foregoing returning your free bread for warming or just putting the red onion—you held, but now find on your burger—to the side.
In other words, check the atmosphere before pulling your high maintenance routine. Your well-trained palate and its stringent requirements may be well received at a 5-star restaurant and may incite Waiting-esq revenge in your typical American chain restaurant where what you get is really what you get. All-American chain, all you can eat— unless the problem is dramatic, don’t send it back.
Check the vibe in the establishment. If the wait staff is high school age-ish, start with a lack luster repeat-after-me-verbatim-introduction or comes with full-color pictures on the menu are usually not the places to send food back to the kitchen.
However, in a more welcoming environment, by all means, ask to have your needs met. Ask, not order. Ask with compassion—believing, trusting and approaching the situation like an oversight or mistake rather than a flagrant attack on your dinner out. If you are respectful in how you ask to have your needs met, your needs will usually be met in a respectful way. If there is any inkling that your respectful request has been met with less than the utmost courtesy and hygiene, ask for the manager immediately or report the restaurant to local government board.
Good luck and good eating,
GoodWitch
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Dear Spit for Spite,
Life is just like dining out: you can pick from an assortment of choices offered you. Not everything you want is always on the menu. Sometimes your good choices aren’t what you expect, other times, the meal surpasses your expectations. You learn. You dine another day.
One of those fabulous life specials often reserved for the chef’s or “secret” menu, is how to pick and choose your battles. Most chefs don’t like being told “how to cook” (which is different from its preparation, which is really what rational dish returnees are most often saying) and you do run the risk of incurring their (or your waiter’s) wrath of spit or some other unsavory secret sauce. I firmly believe that in life in and out of restaurants, that you should always clearly ask for what you want — not to mention here, you’re paying hard-earned money for it. Gently fold those ingredients together (picking your fights and standing up for yourself), add a tablespoon of reasonable language, and let cool before serving (your waiter!).
Treating your waiter with respect is my tip for you. Probably the best way to avoid other peoples’ earned or unearned spite in your food of life, is to come to the table with an open mind, evenhanded attitude, empathy for others’ hard work, and your own strong sense of boundaries of what is right and just. From apps to dessert, this is a great menu that should leave you happily full and sated.
Bon apetito a la dolce vita,
BadWitch
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