Channeling Justin Timberlake

Out of the dating scene always and forever, ya old fart? Wanna bring it but got a date with a feather duster ahead of you, first? What to do?, Speed Dating, online personals, blind dates with people who are “interesting” and full of “good personality” by well-meaning idiot friends? Put the quotes around that. Then, let’s get down to the getting you back out on a date business.

— BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GW/BW — I just came out of a very long-term relationship and am equally nervous to and want to jump back into the dating scene. My question is simple after all these years with one person, comfortably settled and seeing each other pee, and out of the dating world: How do I bring my sexy back?   — Wanna Channel Justin

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Dear Justin(-e?),

Now, Justin Wannabe Lovahbe, why are you going to make a language girl in school do the math (*sigh*)? After all, sexiness is a formula. Oh all right I’ll try. Because maybe you didn’t forget “how” but just forgot to carry The One.

Wanna know how to get your sexy on? (Yeah!) Well then unshackle your innermost Wild Thang from the toilet in the cellar of your psyche, and feed it more than on Sundays. No, I don’t mean your flossiest thong, or bringing that crazy Axe Effect, I mean get your real sexy on. YOU. All the things that you probably just forgot that make you uniquely you when you let your crazy ‘do down and swing those hippy hips around the room. All the way around. Bouncing off the walls of your heart and sub-woofer-thumping the windows of your soul-way around. I don’t care if you’re straight, gay, or somewhere in between, a man or a woman — if you aren’t in touch with what makes you so crazee about yourself, in yourself…then the extremest makeover in the world ain’t gonna help you suddenly Be Sexy.

Sex has something but not everything to do with sexy. Sensuality + smarts + humor + passion/engagement (about…anything!), and for me, + honesty…all = “sexy.” You’ve got scars, you’ve had a good Buddha belly laugh. The best part of dating when you’re older than you were the first time you did it is different — not dashed! — different expectations. Thank Dawg! Speaking strictly in stereotypes here, you don’t just want to hit it and run, or push that stubborn able body down the aisle. And maybe now — finally! — you’re ready for your own damn jelly. And how about this for something different? Just have fun. (Um, don’t forget that good grooming and hygiene are un-debatable classics.) …Then…

Take ‘em to the bridge!

BW

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Dear Wanna Channel Justin,

Ah, the warm, cozy comforts of sharing everything—from carbon emissions to quirky habits and personal hygiene. Well, let’s put those “I know you so well” moments to the side. You wanna get your sexy back? Remember, an air of mystery is the ultimate sexy.

We all remember, toss  the hair with a side of come hither glance. But some of us “newly single” may not remember the sex appeal of the exploration process. Don’t start your dates with your check off list of must haves. Real connection comes through real communication. Laughing at each other’s jokes (when you mean it, not that fake suck-up laugh), naturally finding common interests, points of view and goals…that’s the good stuff.

Wanna get your sexy back? Be you without the TMI. Don’t rush for the finish line at the altar. Take each new dating experience as it is. You have the chance to make new friends, find out how others in the other half live and, eventually when you’re ready, someone you may want to share those TMI moments with.

Just remember, you are sexy because you are you and NO ONE does it like you do. Rock your assets. Fashionably conceal that which is reserved for more intimate moments and conversations. Take some time to dance around your living room alone, preferably with a glass of champagne. Find your inner sexy. It’s right there next to the to-do list and the laundry pile. It’s called Play. Kids need it. Adults need it. Sexy, requires it.

Let loose and have some fun,

GoodWitch

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